Thank you, Bob, for posting Nikki’s courageous post.
Nikki, the misogyny in our culture is breathtaking. I can’t begin to imagine what you have been through. Thank you for your willingness to be so vulnerable and share your experience. I have nothing but admiration and gratitude. I don’t suppose I will ever understand how one person, let alone a majority of people in our country could believe a rapist should be our president.
Thank you for sharing your story, and know that there are a lot of us who hold you in the highest esteem, and feel deeply sad about the horror you have experienced.
It really disturbs me how so many people in this country can turn a blind eye to the way he talks about women. All of his supporters will stand by his side and say he’s never sexually assaulted a woman when he admits how he gets to go backstage while women are dressing. He degrades us, tells us we are not qualified enough to do a ‘man’s job’, and brags about being famous enough to get women to do what he wants. They see it, they know it.. They just don’t care.
I was just going to give this a "like" but that felt wrong. Nothing to "like" about this story, other than the bravery of the narrator.
This exact thing is why I get so angry when people say I hate Trump because of "politics." That is a bald-faced lie. I hate Trump because he's a rapist, a serial creep and a criminal. I would feel the same if he were a Democrat.
Common human decency should be the easiest bar to surpass as the first qualification for leadership. And yet, Americans elected someone that can't clear it. That is deeply disturbing and will take me a long time to get over.
Thanks for sharing. The summer before I started to country school I was assaulted by an elderly man who accompanied his son whom my dad had hired to do some well drilling. I ran to the house and told my mother who summoned my dad who sent both off our property immediately. I don't think such incidents were generally reported at that time but I learned early that my parents would protect me and they certainly didn't tell me not to mention this to anyone. i did not until decades later when I started to pursue a course in becoming a counselor and found out how common this is and how damaging it is for many.
I was too afraid to tell my family after it happened. Every other person that came into my life and did the same thing just made me feel even dirtier. To this day, I’ve only turned one of my abusers in. My family was always the type to sweep things under the rug and not discuss uncomfortable topics.
Profoundly sickening that this is acceptable in our society. I wonder how many Nikki's are living this same reality. I pray Nikki can find peace for herself. I don't know her but she is an incredible strong person.
I facilitated a support group for stroke survivors. One meeting a man spoke about regrets in his life. His biggest regret was not protecting his young daughter from sexual abuse by a male employee of his small rural business. The abuse happened for several years. As a teenager the daughter struggled. Eventually she told her parents. Long story, but other group members started to share how they or their children were abused by neighbors or family members. It was one of the most heartbreaking and eye-opening experiences of my career. A stroke had compromised many in that group, but their parental anguish was something far beyond a stroke. Thanks for sharing Nikki. Peace to you, your strength lifts me this morning as I try to comprehend the enactment of the Peter Principle with Drumpf's appointments.
That is something I’m currently struggling with. My parents now know it’s been multiple different people throughout my childhood and they truly had no idea. Trying to understand their anger and anguish over it has been difficult when I’m having so many of my own feelings.
RESPECT to you, Nikki, for telling your story. And thank you, Bob, for sharing it. Nikki, you are making a difference in this world with your courage. You truly are.
Add my thanks. When people like Ms. Hoover come forward the issue is harder to hide. I do some lobbying for victim supportive legislation and will present and argument at a hearing but it is the personal stories that really affect the legislators and public. Trump has taken us all a giant step backwards by still getting elected but at least the issue is more in the forefront and can be confronted. That's better than buried. Education is a slow solution but it does work. Fewer people litter, fewer smoke, and the me-too movement has kept people from denying there is a problem. It wasn't that long ago that it was considered romantic for Gary Cooper to rape Patricia Neal in "The Fountainhead." We have to press on and thank you for being part of it.
I applaud your bravery. I hope you recognize your own courage and strength!!! No words or understanding how this nation elected a criminal rapist to lead “us”. But we can’t give up. Your sharing your story has given me strength. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
This piece of writing made me physically ill. Then it made me cry. So incredibly important to illustrate how politics and policy are personal. My gratitude to Nikki Hoover for revealing her life experience and to Bob Leonard for providing her a forum to share it.
I was born in the late 1940s in North Dakota. My mother was violently sexually abused by her father when she was three years old. There were very many subsequent incidents of physical and emotional abuse that followed. My mother was told about the sexual abuse by the woman married to him at the time(she was not my mother’s mother). She divorced him and moved away after having witnessed the molestation. My mother’s father(biological) was the physician in a small town in Minnesota. The sexual molestation happened in 1917. My mother was told about that molestation in the early 1970s when she was nearly sixty years old. Her childhood trauma left scars that left her borderline psychotic. She was grossly violent throughout my life. In fact, she nearly succeeded in murdering me at age 16 when she threw a butcher knife at me in a fit of anger. The knife stuck in a door jamb I was leaning against. The place where the knife stuck was about six inches from my carotid artery. I knew that people who were abused as children very often grew up to become child abusers themselves. I knew I was not able to be a good parent, so I decided not to have any children myself. I was also convinced at the time(late 1960s) that humanity was on a path to commit mass murder/suicide and felt it would be an act of extreme cruelty to bring a child into a world like this. With Trump as president, I believe we are about to see the global version of the Jonestown mass murder/suicide. Maybe instead of Jonestown it should be called TrumpEarth. God help us all!
I forgot to mention the most relevant fact. In both my mother’s case and my own, it was widely accepted that such matters were strictly and I mean VERY strictly private family matters that were among the most taboo of subjects. There was no such thing as child protective services. It was all ignored and swept under the rug. Those of you are old enough know about the TV shows like “Father Knows Best” and “Leave it to Beaver”. Don’t worry, be happy or see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. My mother had a knick knack with three little monkeys with one with two hands over its eyes, one with both hands covering the ears and the last with both hands covering its mouth. That way of thinking persists into the present. It is only since August of 2017 that I made major progress after decades of therapy to break free from the scars of my upbringing.
Thank you, Bob, for posting Nikki’s courageous post.
Nikki, the misogyny in our culture is breathtaking. I can’t begin to imagine what you have been through. Thank you for your willingness to be so vulnerable and share your experience. I have nothing but admiration and gratitude. I don’t suppose I will ever understand how one person, let alone a majority of people in our country could believe a rapist should be our president.
Thank you for sharing your story, and know that there are a lot of us who hold you in the highest esteem, and feel deeply sad about the horror you have experienced.
It really disturbs me how so many people in this country can turn a blind eye to the way he talks about women. All of his supporters will stand by his side and say he’s never sexually assaulted a woman when he admits how he gets to go backstage while women are dressing. He degrades us, tells us we are not qualified enough to do a ‘man’s job’, and brags about being famous enough to get women to do what he wants. They see it, they know it.. They just don’t care.
You are very courageous, Nikki Hoover. This is an important issue. Thank you for the arrticle.
Margaret
I was just going to give this a "like" but that felt wrong. Nothing to "like" about this story, other than the bravery of the narrator.
This exact thing is why I get so angry when people say I hate Trump because of "politics." That is a bald-faced lie. I hate Trump because he's a rapist, a serial creep and a criminal. I would feel the same if he were a Democrat.
Common human decency should be the easiest bar to surpass as the first qualification for leadership. And yet, Americans elected someone that can't clear it. That is deeply disturbing and will take me a long time to get over.
I totally agree.
Agreed!
Thanks for sharing. The summer before I started to country school I was assaulted by an elderly man who accompanied his son whom my dad had hired to do some well drilling. I ran to the house and told my mother who summoned my dad who sent both off our property immediately. I don't think such incidents were generally reported at that time but I learned early that my parents would protect me and they certainly didn't tell me not to mention this to anyone. i did not until decades later when I started to pursue a course in becoming a counselor and found out how common this is and how damaging it is for many.
I was too afraid to tell my family after it happened. Every other person that came into my life and did the same thing just made me feel even dirtier. To this day, I’ve only turned one of my abusers in. My family was always the type to sweep things under the rug and not discuss uncomfortable topics.
"White male privilege includes sexual assault."
True - and so horrible.
What a brave and powerful piece of writing. Nikki, many of us have your back. Please remember that!
Profoundly sickening that this is acceptable in our society. I wonder how many Nikki's are living this same reality. I pray Nikki can find peace for herself. I don't know her but she is an incredible strong person.
I facilitated a support group for stroke survivors. One meeting a man spoke about regrets in his life. His biggest regret was not protecting his young daughter from sexual abuse by a male employee of his small rural business. The abuse happened for several years. As a teenager the daughter struggled. Eventually she told her parents. Long story, but other group members started to share how they or their children were abused by neighbors or family members. It was one of the most heartbreaking and eye-opening experiences of my career. A stroke had compromised many in that group, but their parental anguish was something far beyond a stroke. Thanks for sharing Nikki. Peace to you, your strength lifts me this morning as I try to comprehend the enactment of the Peter Principle with Drumpf's appointments.
That is something I’m currently struggling with. My parents now know it’s been multiple different people throughout my childhood and they truly had no idea. Trying to understand their anger and anguish over it has been difficult when I’m having so many of my own feelings.
RESPECT to you, Nikki, for telling your story. And thank you, Bob, for sharing it. Nikki, you are making a difference in this world with your courage. You truly are.
Thank you Nikki.
Add my thanks. When people like Ms. Hoover come forward the issue is harder to hide. I do some lobbying for victim supportive legislation and will present and argument at a hearing but it is the personal stories that really affect the legislators and public. Trump has taken us all a giant step backwards by still getting elected but at least the issue is more in the forefront and can be confronted. That's better than buried. Education is a slow solution but it does work. Fewer people litter, fewer smoke, and the me-too movement has kept people from denying there is a problem. It wasn't that long ago that it was considered romantic for Gary Cooper to rape Patricia Neal in "The Fountainhead." We have to press on and thank you for being part of it.
Honestly? Mostly I'm angry that sharing something like this requires bravery. It shouldn't. Nikki has nothing to be ashamed of.
I applaud your bravery. I hope you recognize your own courage and strength!!! No words or understanding how this nation elected a criminal rapist to lead “us”. But we can’t give up. Your sharing your story has given me strength. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
This piece of writing made me physically ill. Then it made me cry. So incredibly important to illustrate how politics and policy are personal. My gratitude to Nikki Hoover for revealing her life experience and to Bob Leonard for providing her a forum to share it.
I was born in the late 1940s in North Dakota. My mother was violently sexually abused by her father when she was three years old. There were very many subsequent incidents of physical and emotional abuse that followed. My mother was told about the sexual abuse by the woman married to him at the time(she was not my mother’s mother). She divorced him and moved away after having witnessed the molestation. My mother’s father(biological) was the physician in a small town in Minnesota. The sexual molestation happened in 1917. My mother was told about that molestation in the early 1970s when she was nearly sixty years old. Her childhood trauma left scars that left her borderline psychotic. She was grossly violent throughout my life. In fact, she nearly succeeded in murdering me at age 16 when she threw a butcher knife at me in a fit of anger. The knife stuck in a door jamb I was leaning against. The place where the knife stuck was about six inches from my carotid artery. I knew that people who were abused as children very often grew up to become child abusers themselves. I knew I was not able to be a good parent, so I decided not to have any children myself. I was also convinced at the time(late 1960s) that humanity was on a path to commit mass murder/suicide and felt it would be an act of extreme cruelty to bring a child into a world like this. With Trump as president, I believe we are about to see the global version of the Jonestown mass murder/suicide. Maybe instead of Jonestown it should be called TrumpEarth. God help us all!
I forgot to mention the most relevant fact. In both my mother’s case and my own, it was widely accepted that such matters were strictly and I mean VERY strictly private family matters that were among the most taboo of subjects. There was no such thing as child protective services. It was all ignored and swept under the rug. Those of you are old enough know about the TV shows like “Father Knows Best” and “Leave it to Beaver”. Don’t worry, be happy or see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. My mother had a knick knack with three little monkeys with one with two hands over its eyes, one with both hands covering the ears and the last with both hands covering its mouth. That way of thinking persists into the present. It is only since August of 2017 that I made major progress after decades of therapy to break free from the scars of my upbringing.
Thank you for your courage Charles. There are tears in my eyes.
So sorry Charles. My sympathies. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, Nikki.