Donald Trump as "Pimp"
And the "domestic" cycle of abuse in the Republican Party...
Trump rally in Newton, Iowa on January 6, 2024.
Donald Trump treats Republican elected officials just like pimps treat sex workers.
There. I said it.
I’ve wanted to write about this for years, but put it off because I don’t have the academic expertise to address the issue in full. That said, I know people with such expertise read this column, and I hope they dig into it in the comments below.
While I don’t have the academic expertise, I do have enough observations of pimps and their interactions with sex workers to see the parallels.
Stella the Cat inspects my book “Yellow Cab.”
Those observations happened when I moonlighted as a nighttime cab driver in Albuquerque, NM, beginning in 2001. I did it off and on for maybe six years. I wrote a book of short stories and poetry about it, and it was published by the University of New Mexico Press in 2006. It was turned into a play in Albuquerque and played to 12 sold-out performances. It also played at Central College and the Des Moines Social Club.
Driving a cab at night in Albuquerque was fascinating. Meeting people from all walks of life was exhilarating for this anthropologist, and I have countless stories to tell. It was an amazing opportunity for me, and with that experience, I was able to break free of the constraints of academic writing.
One part of the job, especially for us night drivers, was transporting sex workers. There’s a unique bond among people who work the night. Among cab drivers, convenience store workers, waitresses, sex workers, and more. There are long periods of isolation, and when we meet in the quiet of the night, many of us feel a kind of kinship—that we are all in this together.
I’ll always be a night driver.
The most common fares among sex workers were strippers. Many of us cab drivers had regulars who worked at one of the strip clubs in town. They just wanted to get to work and home safely and knew that it was not safe to walk to their cars after the clubs closed, and they wanted a reliable cab driver who wouldn’t hit on them. They were good tippers. Most strippers had their favorite cab drivers and would call us on our cell phones to come and pick them up. My favorite fare was a young woman with alabaster skin and dark hair. She was a middle school teacher who could make more money on Friday night at the strip club than she could make all week as a teacher. She had a master’s degree in Russian literature and would recite Russian poetry to me from the back seat of the cab, from memory, as we drove from the strip club to her apartment.
Less common were women who were paid for sex. Most of them were sad and didn’t talk much. Not every woman had a pimp, and one who didn’t have a pimp seemed to embrace her role in society, always answering her phone with a hearty “Ho, Ho, Ho!”
Sometimes the pimps would ride in the cab with the women, and that was never fun. The cycle of manipulation always continued in the cab, and for the most part, it was emotionally abusive.
From what I saw, the abuse women take from pimps is similar to the process by which common domestic abuse occurs—both physical and emotional. Although with pimps it’s more public-facing, and immediate. Simply put, it’s a cycle of unease, abuse, reconciliation, and reward. Money is at stake every night, and the pressure is high (please comment if you have what you feel to be a more accurate model than those I share here).
Consider what happens when a Republican-elected official criticizes Trump, e.g., Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, and especially poor Lindsey Graham. Trump punishes them emotionally through humiliation. Take Ted Cruz for example. Cruz says bad things about Trump, Trump humiliates Ted Cruz by calling his wife ugly and says his father assassinated JFK. Cruz grovels, and they reconcile. And there are dozens and dozens of other examples. It’s a pattern of “domestic” verbal and emotional abuse in the Republican “household.”
In some places, when a man calls another man’s wife ugly, he just might get his ass kicked. Minimally, the husband would never talk to the guy again. Ted chose to grovel.
While several models of domestic abuse are valuable, what I’ve seen among pimps and sex workers looks like the"Cycle of Violence" model, which was developed by Lenore Walker in 1979. This model follows a predictable cycle of three phases: tension building, acute explosion or violence, and the honeymoon or reconciliation phase.
Tension Building Phase: This phase is characterized by increasing tension, anger, and resentment in the relationship. Communication becomes strained, and the victim may feel like they are walking on eggshells to avoid triggering the abuser's anger. Small incidents may escalate, leading to a sense of fear and apprehension in the victim.
Acute Explosion or Violence Phase: In this phase, the tension built up in the relationship erupts into an acute episode of violence or abuse. This can involve physical, emotional, or verbal abuse directed towards the victim. The abuser may lose control and lash out in a fit of rage, causing harm to the victim.
Honeymoon or Reconciliation Phase: Following the violent episode, the abuser often feels remorseful and guilty for their actions. They may apologize profusely, promise to change, and shower the victim with affection and attention. This phase is characterized by a period of calm and reconciliation, during which the abuser may try to make amends and rebuild trust with the victim.
After the honeymoon phase, the cycle typically repeats itself.
The Duluth Model above also provides another way to understand the cycle of abuse. If you look at the graphic, substitute verbal and emotional abuse in the place of violence and sexual abuse, and you have a description of Trump’s Republican party house of pain, where verbal abuse and humiliation await anyone who gets out of line. I think this also happens at a smaller scale where individual Republicans we know face a similar risk among their peers if they question Trump or his actions. Minimally, they may be ostracized from the group.
While I have little sympathy for Trump, he didn’t invent this cycle. He’s intimately familiar with it having suffered terrible abuse from his father.
This time, he actually is a victim. He knows the pain and how to inflict it because he’s felt it.
As we awaited the death of a family member at a Des Moines hospital years ago, another family member told me that he was sexually abused by a distant male relative when he was a boy in the 1940s. The abuser was long dead, but my family member wanted me to know that the common narrative that those who are abused often turn into abusers is a falsehood. Most victims don’t repeat the crime. In fact, he told me they often become even more protective of those they love and any child in their orbit. He certainly was.
One last note. The nastiest pimp I knew in Albuquerque was a con man and a bully—a big old white guy just like Trump. Thought he was king of the world.
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Spot on, Bob. I've wondered about this and thought that surely it must sting when so many competent people have to abase themselves and kiss the ring.
But as I'm reading, it occurs to me that the wheel of power applies just as equally to the woke left. That cycle of isolation, intimidation, and guilt is interchangeable with cancel culture. Piss the wrong person off, say the wrong thing, and you're out -- unless you come crawling back begging. Have many rational and mutually respectful conversations lately about Israel and Gaza? Didn't think so. I don't know that there is a single person on the left who has as much power as Trump, so it's an imperfect analogy. But in many ways the tribalism of our time makes your analysis apply in many quarters.
I saw an exchange in a comment thread recently -- on a writer's site whom we both know -- where this very cycle played out.
Excellent analysis, Robert. The parallels do match up.
As an attorney who practiced family law, I regularly handled the cases of women who had been severely abused by their husband. The infuriating question all had to contend with was “Why did you not leave sooner.” The answers were often similar: fear of losing their children, lack of means, zero self esteem, fear of violence, shame, as well as others. Bottom line is, there was no easy way out once they were in.
There must be a similar set of elements that cause elected office holders to remain, although none as worthy of sympathy. Even so, one can become a captive of their circumstances. Once seduced by the power and privilege of holding office after making enormous investments of resources, energy, and emotion, along with that of one’s family and friends, winning an election--especially for a Republican--may truly be a Faustian bargain.
Add to that the fact that for some it is the best job they’ve ever had, and one can almost feel sorry for them. Almost. It’s hard. But they knew the job was dangerous when they took it. And winning a national seat in Congress is probably a high only a junkie can relate to.
Thank you for this and your other great work.
Scott Buchanan
Algona, IA