30 Comments

Spot on, Bob. I've wondered about this and thought that surely it must sting when so many competent people have to abase themselves and kiss the ring.

But as I'm reading, it occurs to me that the wheel of power applies just as equally to the woke left. That cycle of isolation, intimidation, and guilt is interchangeable with cancel culture. Piss the wrong person off, say the wrong thing, and you're out -- unless you come crawling back begging. Have many rational and mutually respectful conversations lately about Israel and Gaza? Didn't think so. I don't know that there is a single person on the left who has as much power as Trump, so it's an imperfect analogy. But in many ways the tribalism of our time makes your analysis apply in many quarters.

I saw an exchange in a comment thread recently -- on a writer's site whom we both know -- where this very cycle played out.

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I think this is an important observation. Especially when boundaries and rules are ever changing with time and space. And it seems to me that whatever the transgression is, either "major" or "minor," the penalties are much the same.

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As a “woke left” person, I haven’t had this experience. There are certainly opinions on every inch of the spectrum, resulting in sometimes heated debates, but they don’t seem one-sided or cyclical to me.

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Fair enough. I suspect that you were not interacting with very powerful people, then, or not with activists.

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Perhaps. It just seems more like a divided debate/fight, and less like a one-sided abusive cycle to me.

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For the record, I completely agree with Bob's analysis. I think to experience the dynamic I describe on the left, one needs to be working within an institution or find oneself in the crosshairs of an activist or influencer with a significant platform. Many of those people have no use for anyone who doesn't burnish their brand. And that's part of what it's about for Trump.

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Excellent analysis, Robert. The parallels do match up.

As an attorney who practiced family law, I regularly handled the cases of women who had been severely abused by their husband. The infuriating question all had to contend with was “Why did you not leave sooner.” The answers were often similar: fear of losing their children, lack of means, zero self esteem, fear of violence, shame, as well as others. Bottom line is, there was no easy way out once they were in.

There must be a similar set of elements that cause elected office holders to remain, although none as worthy of sympathy. Even so, one can become a captive of their circumstances. Once seduced by the power and privilege of holding office after making enormous investments of resources, energy, and emotion, along with that of one’s family and friends, winning an election--especially for a Republican--may truly be a Faustian bargain.

Add to that the fact that for some it is the best job they’ve ever had, and one can almost feel sorry for them. Almost. It’s hard. But they knew the job was dangerous when they took it. And winning a national seat in Congress is probably a high only a junkie can relate to.

Thank you for this and your other great work.

Scott Buchanan

Algona, IA

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Really nice analysis Scott, and thanks for the "ground-truthing." So sad, and thanks for helping those who have been abused. FYI, I'm speaking in Algona on Sunday, June 9th from 4-6 P.M. at Veterans Park. I'm probably going to avoid politics though...

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Bob, thanks for this perspective!

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Robert, Great to meet you yesterday and hear more of your thoughts. Thanks for coming up. Hope to see you again soon. Scott

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Glad you said it. Explains Jim Jordan and so many others in the cult.

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Thank you for providing both the "head and the heart" of the relationship that exists between Trump and the Republican party. The "head" being the information you provide about the Cycle of Abuse and the Power Wheel and the "heart" being the personal experience as a cab driver. A very powerful combination and one that I wish were more evident in the Republican Party. Governor Reynolds certainly experienced the Cycle when she dared to support someone other than Trump as the Republican nominee.

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Thanks Cyndy! As a long time reader, you probably know I prefer to write from personal experience.

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Interesting read. You raise some stimulating points worth further pursuit. I'm not aware of specific academic sources, but they must (they need to be, if they don't already) exist regarding my significant tweak/re-do of your premise. In brief: your use of the abuse cycle concept needs to be applied as an overlay to the family of personality traits/disorders. How does the three-stage abuse cycle model apply to each of the personality disorders/traits? Or how does the abuse cycle operate in, or how is it expressed in personality disorders? This is worthy of a major paper or book, if such doesn't exist. The abuse cycle doesn't apply well to Trump because he lacks the ability for the critical third phase of honeymoon/remorse/guilt, due to his narcissistic disorder with psycho-sociopathic traits. He's not capable of significant genuine guilt and remorse. I'm not sure he even can use pseudo-remorse to leverage/gain something, as this action would be too uncomfortable for his "king-sized" narcissistic ego. Without the remorse/guilt, the cycle doesn't cycle in that model. GOP-Trump interaction may be as simple as a behavior-punishment/negative consequence, then behavior changes/no negative consequence or possible positive reward. Or to use a weather metaphor/scientific explanation, discrete thunderstorms develop and actively storm for about 30-50 miles and then have a relative quiet span ("it fell apart" or "it went around me") of 10-30 miles while they recharge, and then they re-explode, and this cycles through repeatedly until it runs out of fuel. I have to think that through more. The Duluth Model (as depicted) is more descriptive of types of abuse rather than explanatory of how/why it happens, or what drives it. Coffee time with Dr. Bob Hutzell and Dr. Bill Stearns could be interesting to chat about personality disorders and abuse processes and behaviors. DSM-V did a major retooling of personality disorders in the last few years of my clinical career, so I'm not as savvy about that topic after retiring in 2015. The two local clinical psychologists I noted may be more current than I am and have experience with the abuse cycle. Thanks for writing the stimulating piece.

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Thanks David, and thanks for the deep dive. I had hoped you would read it and comment given your expertise. Trump's disorders are legion it seems, and based upon what I read from your comments, his abuse is worse than what I describe given his ego and the lack of remorse/guilt. Thanks again.

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These troubling times and interactions with the felon will become the grist for countless theses and dissertations by psychologists and sociologists in the future. That is, if education and democracy survive current efforts to attack and destroy them.

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Excellent analogy. The “caregiver” (pimp) will think for you and provide for you. It’s hard work running for and remaining in national public office. If you don’t have the skill (or will) to think for yourself and honestly do your best and accept the results good or bad, you might jump in the Trump taxi. He’ll now tell you what to think and say every day. He and his cronies will help you get elected and re-elected and you’ll have the salary, pension and kickbacks that come with selling your soul and selling out your country.

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Most of us wouldn't do it, and I don't understand how anyone could.

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Much respect. When you see injustice, you point it out!

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Excellent piece. As Semken says, the word exists for a reason

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I have no personal experience with this kind of behavior but do know what you are referring to. I think it may be how some religious groups control their members, some of whom are friends and whose allegiance to their partners mystifies me. I'm grateful to have been raised by two parents who taught me early to be my own person and stand firm.

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Sad for them, good for you.

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I'm always learning something new from, and about, you, Bob.

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Thanks! As Teresa Zilk told me the other day, I've lived many lives...

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Do you suppose that when Reynolds endorsed DeSantis, she was hoping that the felon might possibly exit the national stage and she could be rid of him? But since he didn’t exit, now she feels compelled to try to win back his good graces? And will he at some point “forgive” her so they may become public chums again?

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I think she made a break, and it failed. She will be back in his good graces when he needs her. At least she attempted a break, but I fear DeSantis would have been worse than Trump. More cruel, if that is possible. Ernst and Grassley bristle now and again with Trump, but stay within the lines. Same with Miller Meeks. Feenstra, Hinson, and Nunn know to keep their heads low. I don't know what Feenstra and Hinson are thinking, but Nunn knows what the Republicans are doing is BS. You can see it in his eyes when he speaks. He doesn't like lying, but does it anyway.

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Regarding the aforementioned politicians who are involved with a cycle of described abuse I can only say the nation NEEDS term limits. Lacking that logical solution I suggest, the gutless politicians, which we have a few right here in Iowa, find the will and grace to walk away from their addiction to power and find peace.

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Thanks, Bob, I have watched this behavior also, for a long time without ever thinking about the pimp correlation. I’ve thought more about the bullies I’ve observed. It is something to ponder and seems absolutely on target. Your analysis seems pretty “academically excellent” to me.

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Thanks Virginia!

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What complete TDS disguised as real physiological thought and theory. Drop the quasi-intellectual demeanor. Simply say you hate Orange Man and then talk about mean tweets and such. You certainly couldn’t talk about inflation, energy prices, world order (no wars), a hugely more controlled border or a dozen other items that put the current president in a dementia dark corner.

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